M for “marriage”

When I was a teenager, I used to think that marriage isn’t for me because in this way I will get trapped with someone and then I will have to listen to his point of view and do according to his will and after having children,eventually I will have no time left for myself ,basically my own life will be over.

But my whole thought pattern changed after reading Quran and some of the Hadiths of prophet pbuh. I came to know about the beauty of this relationship and how Allah swt honoured it because this is the first relation which Allah swt made in this world through our father Adam and our mother Eve.

In the sunnah of prophet pbuh we can see that how much importance he have to his family despite of the fact that he got such a huge family for some obvious reasons. Balancing between the rights all of his wives even though he had such a busy life and big responsibility of conveying message of Allah to humanity, this shows that he masters a very important skill of and that is emotional intelligence.

Basically this intelligence is how you deal with your emotions and then with others as well. To balance the emotions and be aware of your emotional state and others too is very crucial for having peace of mind and heart. Like any skill you need to continuously practice it and learn about it.

Having self respect and also showing respect to others, tolerating, forbearing, admitting one’s mistake and apologising, giving others benefit of doubt and self compassion are just few examples. Why I’m highlighting the emotional intelligence in marriage issue, because unfortunately the institution of marriage is getting weaker and weaker with the passage of time just because of the lack of this skill.

We tend to focus on outer side of things rather than inner side. So that’s why millions of rupees are spent on wedding ceremonies but very few in the pre-marital counselling so that the concept of marriage should be cleared in people’s minds

Why it is necessary to have a clear view of what marriage is in reality. So that people shouldn’t have false hopes of any kind. Moreover, on an individual level, a person should be strong inside out, because to survive in this life , positive thinking is necessary and for that strong mind, heart and body is required.

This strength comes from Allah swt , thus a person becomes independent, it means that the intentions and good deeds which a person do is for the sake of Allah swt , even if one doesn’t get anything in return from someone, one will not stop doing it because it’s for Allah and also the reward is sought from Him.

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